


Noah's Ark

by PerfecPaperBluebirds



Category: Original Work
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caretaking, Coughing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fever, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Abortion, Mentions of incest, Pneumonia, Sick Character, Sickfic, Stomach Ache, University, Vomiting, mentions of domestic violence, mentions of rape/non-con, stomach flu, strep throat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29766783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfecPaperBluebirds/pseuds/PerfecPaperBluebirds
Summary: A long sickfic of a couple of college kids falling in love through illnesses and acts of random kindness.Sad backstories are my jam, but there's so much sweetness and H/C that it's much more fluff than angst. And most of the angst / sad backstory (all the mentions of bad stuff) is in one part, so it's easy to skip if you choose.I know college kids being able to afford apartments in NYC is unrealistic but I didn't think about that until after it was written, so deal with it lol.The longest thing I've ever written and possibly my favorite. Putting it here for any feedback but also so it's saved for posterity. Thanks for reading!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. September

Humming to myself, I let the door to the apartment bang open, eliciting a scowl from Jessica as she puttered around the kitchen. I refrained from rolling my eyes, just barely, as I carefully shut the door and removed my coat and shoes.

“Where have you been?” my roommate asked in her charming, nasal way.

“Playing checkers in Central Park,” I grinned.

“I didn’t know games counted as Acts of Random Kindness now,” came the sarcastic reply.

“Spending time with a lonely old lady does, however, and it just so happens I also had a fabulous time. But thanks for your opinion, Jess.”

“My pleasure,” she said. “But it would’ve been great if you were here today, we could’ve used your help. Dean came over and we…”

I tuned her out immediately as I unpacked my school things and settled on the couch for some homework. Jessica was really not a bad roommate as they come, we were just very different. We weren’t really friends or enemies, we just lived together. I could not possibly care less about what her and her boyfriend had gotten up to today, but it had settled into a comfortable routine at the end of each day for her to talk my ear off while I got settled in, and she didn’t seem to notice or care that I didn’t listen to most of it. She had switched subjects by now and was talking about someone being sick. I tuned back in:

“...and I told Dean to just hang out over here for the next few days because I don’t want him catching it. I can’t stand it when he gets sick, and if he gets me sick too...ugh I will just kill that Noah! It’s right before the fall fashion show, I can’t miss a single day. And speaking of the show, you’ve just got to come see--”

“You said Noah is sick? That’s Dean’s roommate right? Is he a 3rd year too?”

“Ugh, duh. I told you that at least a hundred times. But it's his first semester at NYU. And he's nasty sick. He didn’t go to class today and he told Dean the doctor said to stay home tomorrow too. Why do you care?... Oh don’t tell me he’s your next project. That’s gross. You’ll get sick, then you’ll get me sick, and I’ll never forgive you.”

“It sounds like he’s all alone though. I would never want to be on my own if I was sick. But my sisters live just outside the city. Other people aren’t so lucky, and they deserve someone to look after them too."

“Ugh. Whatever. Just stay away from me if you go see him. It’s still gross.”

“Did Dean say what he’s sick with?”

“Some kind of cold thing. He’s hacking up a lung every five minutes. Dean can’t  
sleep, and he needs his sleep for basketball.”

“What’s their address?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes and bitched a lot, but she wrote it down for me, and I thanked her. I carefully put it in my bag.

After class the next day, I made my way to Dean and Noah’s apartment. I had to knock several times before I heard shuffling on the other side of the door. I sensed someone staring at me through the peephole, then the bolt clicked and the door opened. A tall, muscular boy with tousled dark hair stood before me, barefoot and wearing flannel pajama pants and a blanket. The chill wind, more than hinting at fall, blew around his ankles and he was instantly shivering.

“Are you Noah?” I asked.

“Uh, yes ma'am. Can I help you?” His voice was rasping and weak, and it clearly hurt him to speak. He had the barest hint of a southern drawl.

“My name is Alyssa. Your roommate and my roommate are dating, and Jess told me that Dean told her you were sick. I know you're from out of state, so I just came over to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry I just invited myself over. I promise I’m not a creep. But I brought you some soup.” I dug in my bag and produced a jar of bone broth, presenting it to him. He hesitated a minute before taking it, looking very confused, stifling a cough.

“You… you what? I mean--thanks… thank you, ma'am… you didn't have to..." He began to cough harshly. I waited until he finished.

"You're more than welcome… But that cough sounds terrible, it almost knocked you over... Would you like me to come in and fix you something to eat?"

"Oh, no ma'am, I don’t want to get you sick. I'm sure you're busy...” The hoarse, barking coughs snuck up on him again, and he was rendered incapable of speech for a moment. Once again, I waited until he was quiet. He was trembling like a leaf and looked so worn out from coughing. My heart melted for him

“No offense, but you look like you shouldn't be out of bed. I'm sure you're freezing. I know you don't know me, but I'd like to help you. And there's an art to reheating that. Trust me… I'd be more than happy to come in for a bit if you'll have me."

I could see he was torn. He was clearly raised to be polite, and it went against all common convention to invite a stranger into your house, or invite anyone into your house when you're sick. But I could also see he was tired and scared and just wanted to be taken care of for a little while. I made the decision for him and grasped his elbow gently.

“Come out of the cold. You'll catch your death.”

“I think I already did," he said wearily, allowing himself to be led back into the apartment. 

I chuckled softly, releasing him. "Touche."

It was a typical male apartment: furniture was sparse, every surface was cluttered with odds and ends, and it looked like they didn’t own a vacuum. But it didn’t smell too bad, there were only a few dirty dishes in the kitchen, and the trash wasn’t overflowing 

“Sorry about the mess," he wheezed. "Wasn't expecting anyone.”

"I was actually just thinking how nice this place looks compared to most guys' apartments," I said, removing my coat. "So, would you like a bowl of soup now? I have some bread too." I gently took the jar of broth back from him.

His stomach growled hungrily before he could speak and he instantly reddened

"Yes please," he chuckled sheepishly.

"Guess that answers that!" I giggled too. "But seriously, you go lie down. I've got this. I promise I won't poison it. I'll bring it to you when it's ready."

He was quite disoriented now, but I saw gratitude slowly creeping across his features. “Wow, okay… If you’re sure… thanks...so much. Um… I guess I’ll be in my bedroom. The one on the left…”

“I’ll find you. Dean’s not home, right?”

“No ma'am, he’s at practice.”

“All right then.”

He shuffled away to his room while I putzed around finding everything I needed.

I imagined him busily cleaning while I was in the kitchen, and took my time returning to him, but when I knocked he was huddled on the bed, the room neat as a pin already. It was well-arranged and furnished in comfortable tones of red and black. 

“Wow, what a great room. I love your decor.”

“Thanks. Mom is an interior designer, and she hated the thought of me living in a bare apartment. She helped with a lot.” His voice was barely more than a croak now, and the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced against his pallor in the brighter light. He was still shivering, and I could hear wheezing in his chest.

“You’re really in rough shape, poor guy. Respiratory infection?”

“I think. Guess I’m not used to city air yet. I’ve got some antibiotics from the doc, so I should be getting better in a day or so.”

“NYC air is an acquired taste,” I agreed. I set the bowl and plate beside him, sitting on the edge of the bed, quite near him. He tried to hide his surprise at this development. “Sorry I couldn’t toast the bread. I couldn’t find a toaster. But at least it’s buttered.”

“We don’t have a toaster. But that looks really good.” He grabbed one slice of bread. “I’m actually hungry today, so I guess that’s good. I was coughing so much I threw up the first day.” He shot a startled look at me, worried he’d said too much, but I just smiled.

“It happens. Have you been running a fever?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. I was when I went to the doctor. But no thermometer.”

I reached out, placing my wrist against his forehead before he could react. He jerked back a moment before leaning back in, eyes closed, his breath coming quick.

“You definitely are. Have you been taking any medicine besides antibiotics?”

Another shrug. “No, ma'am. We don’t really have anything. Dean hasn’t been able to get to the store,” he said awkwardly.

“Good thing I came prepared. Ibuprofen?”

“Yes please,” he rasped meekly, slowly chewing. “This bread is amazing, by the way. Like, the best I've ever had. Where did you get it?”

“Thank you, I made it. I can’t eat store bread anymore. All I can taste are preservatives, and it’s way cheaper to make your own anyway.” As I spoke, I retrieved my pill bottles from my bag.

“Wow.” He swallowed gingerly, reaching for the broth next. “That’s awesome.” He took a long slow sip of broth, closing his eyes in ecstasy. “Mm, now that tastes like home.”

“Where’s home for you?” I asked, shaking pills into his hand.

“North Carolina. Outside of Asheville.” He popped the pills with another grateful smile. “What about you?”

As he was speaking, I stood up from my seat on his bed and relocated to his desk chair before I answered. “Right here. Well, in the suburbs. But pretty much right here. I’ve known I wanted to go to NYU my whole life. Majoring in library science. I’ve told everyone I was going to work at the Library of Congress pretty much as soon as I could read. What's your major?”

He cleared his throat roughly.“Visual arts. Like I said, my mom is a designer, and as a kid I always loved watching her pick out the art that was gonna go in her spaces. I want to be surrounded by art for the rest of my life, like an art museum curator or something, and I always knew I wanted to go to NYU too. I mean this is the cultural hub of the world.”

“I think there are those who might argue with that, but I love the sentiment. I’ve always loved this city, and I love to meet outsiders who feel the same way. So you like it here so far?”

He smiled a little ruefully. “It’s… a big adjustment. Definitely culture shock. I honestly think that’s part of the reason I got sick. I’m just having kind of a hard time… getting settled I guess. But the school and the city are everything I could’ve hoped for. It’ll just take some getting used to is all.” He coughed harshly, gasping for breath when he was through, rubbing his chest. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have you talking so much. You need to rest your throat.”

“No, it’s fine,” he croaked, smiling wanly. “I love having someone to talk to. Dean isn’t much of a conversationalist.”

“Yeah, Jess is plenty for both of them,” I giggled. “Drink your broth before it gets cold.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He obediently takes a long drought, sighing deeply. The hot liquid was making his nose run, and he scrubbed his sleeve over the drips hastily. I pretended not to notice as I rearranged my bag. Noah finished his bowl quickly as I pretended to flip through one of my textbooks, so he didn’t feel weird with me staring at him. The room was silent except for his wheezing and munching. He ate the second piece of bread, then leaned back into his pillows with a contented sigh, hands over his stomach. I looked up and grinned.

“Better?”

“Much,” he said earnestly. “Much warmer and fuller. Thank you so much, Alyssa. That was incredible.”

“I’m very glad to hear it.” I stood and stretched. “While I’m here, is there anything else I can do for you? You said you hadn’t been to the store. I have a little time… Is there something I can go pick up for you?”

He bit his lip. I could tell he wanted to ask for something, but was still nervous to do so. 

“Well… back home whenever we got sick, the only thing that seemed to help stuff like this chest thing was Vicks VapoRub. I would honestly love some of that. And… and maybe a Sprite and some Oreos? That was my brother and I’s treat whenever we were sick. That’s all I’ve been craving for the last few days.”

“Consider it done.” 

He grinned like he’d won the lottery and quickly fumbled around on his nightstand for some cash, almost knocking everything else over in the process. He stammered a deluge of thanks as he handed me the money and a key to the apartment. 

I bit back a laugh at his earnestness. “I’ll leave my backpack here for collateral, just so you know I'm coming back. There’s a store right on the corner, right? So I’ll be back in half an hour. And here’s my cell number . Text me if you think of anything else you need.” I quickly scribbled it down. He just looked at me in a kind of awe.

“I have to ask… why are you doing this? I… we’re pretty much strangers. You didn’t have to.”

I shrugged. “Because I don’t think anyone should ever be alone when they’re sick in bed. And because I believe very strongly that random acts of kindness can change the world.” As he was mulling this over, I checked my pocket for his cash once more and made to leave, waving good-bye in the doorway. “I’ll be back soon.”

I was almost to the store when I got a text from him asking if I could also buy some Ibuprofen and a thermometer so he could be more prepared if he got sick again. With a grin I replied in the affirmative.

~~~~~~~~~~

I hummed happily as I made my way back to his place with my purchases. Fall was in the air, and NYC in the fall is my favorite place in the world… except maybe NYC at Christmas. Even though Christmas has historically been a not so nice holiday for me, there is a tangible magic here during the weeks of December that you’ll never find anywhere else.

Upon my return, I found the patient sound asleep, breathing deeply, still wrapped in his blanket, underneath his covers. Seeing how deeply he was sleeping, I brushed my hand across his forehead one more time: it was already cooler, and I grinned, pleased with the day’s work. I left the key, snacks and medicine on his desk with a note saying how happy I was to meet him. I left as quietly as I came, and he hardly stirred.

Many hours later, as I plowed through my pile of homework, I got a text from him, thanking me profusely yet again. The second half read: “Thanks to u I got the best sleep I have in days or weeks and I feel so much better…” followed by more thanks. I sent a quick reply to accept his thanks and assure him it was no trouble at all. I believed that to be the last time I would ever hear from him, but saved him as a contact in my phone just in case.


	2. October

My intuition that having your roommate’s boyfriend’s roommate’s contact info might come in handy was not unfounded. A few weeks later, Jess barged into my room in a panic right as I was falling asleep.

“Liss! I need a favor!” she hissed.

“What?” I grumped. “Can it wait?”

“Duh, if it could do you think I would be here? Dean left his lucky hat here this morning, and I promised to drop it off tonight but I forgot. I was putting extra luck into it for him for his game tomorrow, and he needs it before he leaves! He’s staying with his teammates tonight but he’ll be back to his place first thing tomorrow and his hat needs to be there! Can you please drop it off before you go to class tomorrow? It’s practically on your way!

“And you can’t do that because?...”

“Because I don’t have class until late, and I’m not wasting my bus pass right before Halloween. And like I said, you’re gonna be there anyway. Pleeeeeease, Liss?”

I groaned loudly. “Fiiiiine. But you owe me big. So does Dean. 15 minutes out of my way is not “on my way.”

“Ohmigod thank you so much. Here’s my key to his place. I’ll pick you up a pizza on Saturday.”

I humphed and laid back down, and she took the hint and finally closed the door. Now I would have to leave at least a half hour early. I reset my alarm. This definitely counted toward my ARK though, so at least I could take a nap after class tomorrow.

The next morning, smelly hat in hand, as I was hopping on the bus, I had the random thought to text Noah. I didn’t want to scare him by suddenly barging into his apartment.

“Hey it’s Alyssa, Jessica’s roommate. Swinging by ur place in a bit to drop off something for Dean before class. I have a key. Just fyi so I don’t scare u,” I quickly texted. 

“K,” came the reply, just before I was about to get off at my stop. So he was awake then. I had a hunch he was an early riser too, so I patted myself on the back for thinking to text him.

I found the door to their place unlocked when I arrived. I knocked softly before tip toeing in. The smell of hot coffee made my mouth water. Noah was on the couch with the TV on low, and gave me a little wave as I entered.

“Nice to see you again,” I said warmly.

“Likewise,” he said thickly, attempting a smile. He was as pale as he had been weeks ago, and there was a glassy look to his eyes that I didn’t like.

My face fell. “Don’t tell me you’re still sick?”

“The chest thing cleared up a while ago. Just a sore throat this time, fall cold I think.”

I sat beside him, looking at him closely as he reddened. I could see his swollen lymph nodes at a glance. “You really don’t look good. You look like you’re running a fever again. I’d stay home today if I were you.”

He held up the textbook in his lap. “Can’t. Midterms today. That’s why I got up to study. It’s just a sore throat. And it’s Friday. No more class until after the weekend, so I can rest. I’ll be okay.”

I sighed and shook my head, standing back up and pulling out Dean's hat. “Well anyway, I just came to drop this off. Where should I put it?”

“Probably on his basketball bag. It’s over there.” He nodded to a lumpy case in the corner. I tossed the hat on top.

“Thanks. Let him know it’s there if you see him. I better get going though.”

“Want some coffee for the road?” he croaked.

“That sounds amazing, yes please. Don’t get up, I’ll get it.” I didn’t like the thought of him breathing his germs on my nectar of life right now, though of course I didn’t mention that.

“Cups are right behind the pot.”

I prepared my cup, then, drink in hand, I turned to go. “Thanks a lot for the coffee. Good luck with your tests today. But do me a favor and go see Doc after. I had strep throat a lot as a kid, and when I had it, I sounded like you do right now. If you let it go without antibiotics, it’ll just get worse. Deal?”

He smiled weakly. “Deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~

As I was packing up after my last class later that day, he flitted across my mind again. I sent him a quick text. “Did u see doc?”

“Yes ma'am. U were right. Strep. Home now,” came the speedy reply.

I sensed across the city that we both were having the same thought. Unsure why I was suddenly a little nervous, I sent: “Need me to get u anything?”

I could almost hear his internal debate before my phone dinged again. “Campus store has heated blankets. Pls pick me up one? Aching all over, can’t get warm. Will cash app u $”

“U got it,” I sent. The money was in my account minutes later. I picked out a soft black one to match his room. I also spotted a soda machine on my way out, and as an afterthought I grabbed a Sprite to bring him.

He was back in his room when I arrived. The room was in more disarray this time; it was obvious he just threw everything down as soon as he got home and collapsed. He peeked out from under a heap of blankets, but still attempted a smile, despite his trembling. I greeted him warmly, unboxing his blanket right away.

“Thanks for coming back,” he murmured. “And thanks for the tip about going to Doc. I probably wouldn’t have, and then I would’ve been miserable all weekend. Never had strep before.”

“Wow,” I chuckled. “That’s crazy to me, ‘cause it’s super contagious. Strep went around my school every single year. It sucks, but at least it’s pretty short lived. You’ll be better by Sunday as long as you take your meds.”

“You’ll probably find this hard to believe, but I had a great immune system as a kid. I pretty much never got sick. Had perfect attendance all of middle school and high school. It’s just since I’ve been here that it’s changed.”

“I believe you. Like I said, NYC air is an acquired taste.” At last I had the blanket ready to go. He gestured to an outlet right behind his nightstand when I asked where he wanted it plugged in. I powered it up, and spread it over him as he feebly attempted to help. I batted his hands away lightly and smoothed it down. “Have you taken any medicine today?”

“Yes ma’am,” he said meekly. “Took some Ibuprofen as soon as I got home, so about an hour ago, and I’ll take my first antibiotic at 8.”

“Good, then you should feel a little better soon.”

“Mhm.” He tried to smile again. His eyes were glassier than ever, and he had hectic red spots on his cheeks even as he shivered. He was so pathetic-looking. My heart melted for him once more. “How did your tests go today?” I asked as I fussed around, picking up packaging.

“I dunno. The first one was okay. That was the harder one, but I’m pretty sure I passed, even though I felt like crap. The second one should’ve been easier, but right before class the aches and headache kicked in full blast. I could barely focus. I think I almost passed out a few times. So I have no idea on that one.”

“Aww, poor guy!”

He shrugged, looking sheepish. “I went to see Doc right after. He looked amazed that I was still talking, since my tonsils are so swollen and squashed together. So once I got the script I came right home because I was shivering so bad. Skipped my last class.”

“I’m glad you did. But you probably infected half the school by now.” I reached to feel his forehead, sensing the heat roaring off of him even before I made contact. But he didn’t jump away this time, just leaned his head into my palm. I pushed his sweaty hair off his brow.

“You’re not worried about getting infected?” he asked with the ghost of a smile.

“Nah. I’m the opposite of you. I was sick every month as a kid, but I haven’t been sick once since 11th grade. I’m not worried.”

He chuckled again, letting his eyes slip closed. I paced around for a moment.

“The blanket should warm up any minute,” I finally said. “In the meantime, is there anything else I can do for you?”

He opened one eye and looked around listlessly. “Don’t think so.”

“Well, okay…” I trailed off, also looking around for something to say.

“So… does that mean you’re leaving then?” he croaked, both eyes now on me.

“I mean, I guess… No reason for me to stay. I should let you get some sleep and stuff. And I need to get dinner.”

“Is your roommate making something?”

“Nah, she’ll be at the basketball game.”

“Oh right.” He fidgeted for a moment.“Well, if you want to be at home I totally get it. But… I'd love some company. If you’re busy no big deal. But I have soup and stuff we can have for dinner if you wanted to stay."

I had to smile. “You read my mind. I wasn’t too keen on spending tonight by myself.” I nodded out the window where a howling storm was picking up. “And soup sounds delicious. Count me in.”

So that’s what we did. I spent a while in the kitchen, doing dishes and making supper, listening to the rain begin to pour down, while he took a little nap. He told me to wake him for dinner, but the smell took care of that, and he emerged just as I was dishing up, his new blanket around his shoulders, cord trailing behind, hair sticking up everywhere.

"Thank you for cooking," he croaked. "I really appreciate it. Don't think I would've been able to handle it. And mostly broth for me please,” he added, seeing me with the ladle.

“That works out, because I like almost no broth,” I laughed. "And you're very welcome. I'm glad you didn't have to." 

He smiled palely, shivering.

“Aww, you look miserable,” I groaned in sympathy.

“Mm. This is the worst sore throat I’ve ever had. But other than that, I think I mostly need to eat. Still can’t get warm.”

“We can fix that.”

We found seats on the couch and Noah produced some TV trays. We agreed that since the TV out here was larger and nicer, we would watch movies and hang out here. 

“I don’t want to tire you out though. You look like a strong breeze would blow you over as it is,” I said hesitantly as I plugged in his blanket.

“Well, if I get tired, I’ll sleep.” He managed a groggy smile. “But right now I want to eat and watch cheesy movies with you.”

So that's what we did. Noah ate slowly but steadily, making horrible grimaces every time he had to swallow, but he managed to finish the bowl with a contented sigh. When I produced the soda I’d bought, a grin split his face. He didn’t say much, but the look in his eyes was enough for me.

All told, we watched 3 movies while the storm raged on outside. I made a point not to be chatty, knowing how painful speaking likely was for him, but he was in a talking mood, so I let him take the lead. However, I wasn’t about to tell him about my family, so even though I was very curious about his, I kept the conversation out of that territory. Instead, we talked about school, and class, and friends, and sports, and the future, and politics, and movies, and music, and TV. He was lethargic and glassy-eyed, his speech rather slurred-sounding due to the blockage in his throat, but we managed to have a very pleasant time regardless, the rain lending a cozy, familiar atmosphere to the evening.

Well after midnight, he finally began nodding off again. After the final movie ended and the storm had wound down, I leaned over him:

“Did you want help getting back to your room?”

“Mm mm. Too warm to move. Sleeping here tonight,” he mumbled, barely audible.

I brushed my hand across his forehead and he sighed softly. “Fever is still high, but at least you’re warm,” I whispered. 

“Mmph,” was the only reply I got, which turned into a snore. I packed up quietly and let myself out. The ride home was uneventful, and I collapsed into bed as soon as I was in the door, sleeping within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was nearly noon when my phone woke me with a text. It was Noah.

“Brunch together? On me.” I texted back quickly, smiling to myself.

“Sounds good! Where?”

“Meet at my place.”

“Be there in an hour.” I hopped out of bed, and rushed to get ready.

Even though I was ready in record time, traffic was terrible, and I arrived just over my hour timeline. Trying the handle of their door, I found it open as always, even though I knew I’d locked it on my way out. The smell of frying bacon greeted me on the threshold, and an underlying aroma of pancakes made my mouth water immediately. 

“Morning!” called the (former) patient cheerfully from the kitchen, waving a spatula. 

“Noah, what?... I thought we were eating out!”

“I wanted to surprise you. You’ve been bringing me all this stuff, so I wanted to give you something.”

I kicked off my shoes and joined him in the kitchen. He was still a bit pale and his lymph nodes were still swollen, but he had showered and changed, and looked much more alert.

“Mm, plague pancakes, my favorite!” I laughed.

“They’re actually waffles,” he chuckled too, his voice still distorted, but warm nonetheless. “I woke up this morning and felt a lot better, and I had the biggest craving for my dad’s waffles. So I went to the store and got the stuff for breakfast for us, since Dean won’t be back till this afternoon.”

“You probably shouldn’t be going out. You’re still contagious for 24 hours after your first antibiotics,” I laughed. “But I can’t say I’m complaining. I can’t remember the last time I had homemade breakfast.”

“Well I’m glad it’ll be with me then.”

“How’s your fever?” He obediently leaned over to let me feel his face. I hadn’t realized it until now, since he had mostly been lying down when we’d been together so far, but he was almost a foot taller than me. I touched his cheeks and forehead.“Definitely better. And I see your chills are gone. Aches too?”

“Yes, ma'am. Now relax and let’s enjoy some food,” he laughed

“Well forgive me for not wanting you to keel over onto the bacon,” I laughed. “You seemed more dead than alive last night, and I'm just impressed at your recovery. But I’m a worry wart, I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

“Well, I have you to thank that I feel as good as I do today, between my new blanket and your good instincts, so I promise you I’ll never hate on your worrying. How do you like your eggs?”

Without any prompting, he began to tell me about his childhood home and his dad teaching him to cook, his parents, his brothers. I kept him talking as we ate, asking him questions. But finally he turned the tables:

“What about you? You must have siblings, as good as you are at taking care of people.”

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. “Yeah, I have two sisters, both older than me. They needed a lot of looking after growing up. I actually wanted to go into nursing for a while, but like I said, I got enough of it at home. And of course, NYU was the dream school anyway. What would your second choice major have been?”

Awkward subject change, and he clearly noticed, but he went along with it, and we talked about schools and majors instead. As I suspected, he was also a gentleman.

When we were full to bursting, Noah proposed a quick game of rummy before we went our separate ways. And that in turn led us to keeping each other laughing until we cried quoting the Golden Girls. He won the card game by the slimmest margin. Reluctantly I stood up to leave as he cleaned up the cards.

“I have a pile of homework calling my name,” I groaned. “A nap on the couch sounds so much better though.”

“Well, it’s Saturday. You should do both.” he croaked. He had talked himself hoarse yet again. I giggled a bit.

“Maybe I’ll do both.”

He walked me to the door. 

“Well… I guess I’ll see you around,” I said.

“Yeah, see you, Liss-- Uh, I mean Alyssa.”

“You can call me Liss, most people do. I don’t mind.”

“Well, I’ll see you around Liss. And thanks again, for everything.” That warm smile again, which I could never help but return.

He hesitated, then we stuck out our hands to shake at the same time, laughing a little. His hand was warm and strong. I felt the air escape from my lungs as my face reddened. I quickly pulled my hand back.

“Well… bye, Noah

“Yeah… see ya.” I felt him watch me until I was out of sight on the stairs, but I refused to turn, knowing my face was a deep, beet red.


	3. November

I thought for sure that was the last time I would see him, especially since Dean and Jessica were talking about moving out and getting an apartment together. Once again however, I was wrong. Another few weeks went by; Thanksgiving came and went. I spent it with my sisters and nieces, having a quiet time at home, and savoring every second, knowing Christmas would be much harder. 

I returned to the City the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and putzed around the rest of the day, listening to music, cleaning the apartment and getting ahead on schoolwork. Jess wouldn’t be back until Sunday night, and I savored the peace and quiet, though it was a tad lonely after the crowded warmth of my sisters’ tiny house. 

Sunday morning dawned bright and clear. Light snow had fallen, and my ARK of the day was to sweep off the front stoop and sidewalk of our building before it got packed down and slick, and I helped one elderly tenant with her groceries. Pleased with my work, I went inside to warm up and check my phone, which had been charging. The moment I picked it up, it began to ring: Noah.

With some trepidation, I answered.

“Hi, Alyssa... How’s it going?”

“Um… good. Just got back from my sisters’ for Thanksgiving. How are you?”

“I’m alright I guess. Um… I have a really weird favor to ask of you. Have you...I mean… do you have any of your homemade bread lying around?”

I glanced at the loaves I had baked the day before. “Yeah… um… why? Would you like some?”

“If it’s not too much trouble… I... have a hankering for it. I’d be happy to pay you.”

“No, that’s fine. Did you want to come get it or…?”

“Um… could you possibly bring it out? Whenever you get the chance, no rush or anything. I'll pay your fare too. I'm sorry to ask all this of you.”

“ It's all good. I can bring it out I guess. I just finished up what I was doing, so I’ll head over now. Guess I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Thank you so, so much. See you soon.”

True to my word, I got my things together and hopped on the bus to go see him right away. I mulled over the cryptic phone call the whole way there. What kind of boy asks you to bring him some bread after not hearing from him for a month? I pressed my hand against my pocket, where my pepper spray always was. Not that I had ever gotten any weird vibes from Noah before this, but I couldn’t figure out what he could possibly want with me. There was no way it was just the bread.

I knocked hesitantly upon arriving at their door.

“It’s open,” came the reply from inside.

I let myself in to find Noah curled up on the couch in a half- fetal position, a heating pad against his abdomen. He gingerly sat up, giving me a little wave, turning down the TV as he did. He stood up stiffly, wobbling a little, looking very pale and clammy.

I realized I had my hand over my mouth, hiding a smile. How could I not have guessed--he was sick again. And all he wanted was some good bread--and probably some company. The situation was not funny for him at all, I was sure, but relief was making me silly.

“You… you’re really having a rough year, huh?” I managed, biting back stubborn giggles. He looked distinctly ill, and focusing on that helped the urge to laugh subside.

“Yes ma'am, I guess so,” he chuckled ruefully. “I uh… I was home for break of course, and I got back to the city early yesterday, and as soon as I was here, all I wanted was some greasy food stand grub. And uh, yeah, it tasted great the first time around, but not so much for the next 24 hours. Needless to say, I severely regretted everything I ate over the weekend. But on the bright side, I think I lost weight from break instead of gaining it, so I guess that’s a plus.” He rubbed his stomach gingerly, making a face. Even from where I stood, I heard it growling and gurgling angrily

“Oh my gosh, you poor guy. That has to be one of the saddest Thanksgiving stories I’ve ever heard. But yet you want bread now?” I chuckled a little too, feeling it was safe to laugh since he had.

“Yes ma'am, I guess I do. I haven’t puked since last night, even though I’ve been pounding water and juice, and I know I should eat something, but the thought of any food makes me start gagging again… except some of your bread. I even brought a toaster back with me so I could try it toasted like you said.” He indicated the kitchen, and sure enough, the appliance was sitting on the counter.

“You… you packed a toaster in your suitcase from North Carolina?”

“...yes ma'am,” he laughed. “Had a separate checked bag for it and everything. I figure it will come in handy. Eggo, and all that, you know. I hadn't quite figured out how to ask you for more bread though. But I guess that's worked itself out.” 

We laughed again, but meanwhile, I could see him swaying a little where he stood. I moved to his side, and gently pushed him back down on the couch. “You look a little worse for wear for just having food poisoning,” I admonished gently.

He shrugged, arms wrapped around his middle. “Pretty sure I’m dehydrated. Like I said, I've been pounding liquids all day, but I hadn’t drunk anything before that since early Saturday.”

I touched his forehead: hot and dry. “I would say so,” I said. “Well… keep doing what you’re doing then, and we’ll keep an eye on it. Lie back down, that’s the best place for you right now.”

“Doctor’s orders,” he murmured, grimacing as he slid back down. I couldn’t help but notice how bloated he was before he replaced the heating pad over his belly. “Think I pulled a muscle in my back from power puking yesterday too,” he groaned.

I ‘tched’ sympathetically in my throat. “Did you want some of that toast now?”

“Oo, yes please,” he murmured. “Any Sprite this time?”

“Well no, since you neglected to mention you were sick on the phone, I didn’t think about it,” I admitted.

“Mm. Yeah, sorry about that… I didn’t want you to think I only called you because I was sick.”

“But… you did?” I laughed. “I suppose I should’ve guessed that’s why you called, but I had no idea what to think.”

“I guess I didn’t think of that,” he chuckled softly. “Maybe one of these days you’ll have a reason to talk to me when I’m not running a fever. But at least I can talk to you today without my throat hurting too much.”

“Yeah, but power puking isn’t so easy on the throat either.”

“Better than strep,” he countered. I couldn’t disagree there. 

Toast was up in short order, and we chatted as he picked it apart, eating one small piece at a time. We shared about our breaks and the antics our families had gotten up to as I tried to ignore the noises his belly was making. He didn’t ask anything beyond what I shared, and for that was very grateful, enjoying instead the tales he regaled me with of his brother’s crazy fiancee. But I noticed him hunching up tighter into a ball, pressing the hot pad against himself, teeth clenching in pain every so often.

I cocked my head. “Stomach cramps?”

He could only groan his affirmation. I bit my lip.

“I see… can you… I mean… do you know how to massage them out?”

“Nn nn,” he said, a pleading look in his eyes.

I sighed quietly, feeling myself redden. “All right, I’ll show you. I’ve only ever done this for my sisters before though, so don’t judge. And if it starts hurting too much, let me know. Obviously if you feel like you’re going to puke, please stop me. You’re only supposed to do this when there’s no danger of puking, trust me.”

“I’m not gonna puke,” he mumbled. “Just hurts like hell.”

“Yeah, that’ll happen after you haven’t eaten in a while.” I went to kneel beside him, taking a deep, quiet breath. I carefully pushed back his tee shirt and gently began to palpate his abdomen, his skin startlingly warm from the heating pad. I started very gently, explaining what I was doing and feeling for. His teeth were clenched tight as I worked, with his eyes squeezed shut, and I could tell he was trying not to moan as I worked out the painful bubbles and bloating. He was stiff and quiet, burping quietly even now and then, or gasping softly as areas of tension released here and there. It seemed to help, and he slowly started to unclench, so I gradually increased the pressure of my touch as pressure inside his gut and the painful bloating slowly decreased. Once his breathing was slow and regular, I stopped, quickly withdrawing my hand and replacing his shirt. He opened his eyes.

“Holy cow,” he groaned. “That is so much better. You are… a miracle worker. Where did you learn all this stuff?”

“Mostly the internet,” I laughed, retreating to our safe, usual distance. “As an adult female, trust me, that one comes in handy.”

“I can imagine,” he agreed, nodding sluggishly, stifling another soft belch.

“You’re not gonna puke on me now, are you?” 

“No ma’am. I feel like a new man.”

“Minus the sprained back and dehydration,” I laughed. “Well, you look like a tired man at the very least. And our roommates will be back any time. I should get going. School tomorrow and all that. That whole loaf of bread is yours to keep. I have more at home. ”

“Mm.” He struggled to a sitting position. “Wait, I have something for you.” He shuffled to his room, returning with a $20 bill, which he pressed into my reluctant hand.

“I really don’t need this. I… food is meant to be shared with people. I can’t accept money for something so small.” I kept my hand out, refusing to pocket the bill. He hid his hands behind his back.

“Then consider it payment for your fares over here all these times,” he pressed. “For everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do. It should be a lot more.”

I sighed, finally shoving it in my pocket. “Men are so weird.”

“Darn right,” he laughed. “Don’t you forget it.”

Once again, he walked me to the door, rubbing his stomach absently. 

“I guess I’ll see you around then?” I said.

“Yeah, I guess. Actually, you know what, when do you have lunch tomorrow?” He almost spat it out, as if he’d been waiting for the right moment to ask that all along.

“11:15.”

“Oh hey, me too… okay, well, would you want to meet up for lunch or something?”

Of course I almost said no. Having lunch meet-ups isn't my usual MO. Then I remembered how we had laughed while playing Rummy, and his knack for telling stories. Not to mention the pleading, hopeful look in his eyes he had as he asked. Deep down, I honestly wanted to say yes, just for some change of pace from my usual lonely lunch, and because I genuinely liked him as a person. After all, a person could never have too many friends, right? With a small sigh, I steeled myself to be brave.

“You know… sure, why not.”

He grinned hugely in response. “Great, that’s… that sounds awesome. Okay, meet at the caf tomorrow then?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Cool. Well… until tomorrow then.”

~~~~~~~~~~

For the rest of the semester, we were lunch buddies every Monday and Wednesday. Our first lunch “date” was admittedly awkward, as I had never seen him wearing anything but grimy sweats, and had never seen his true complexion under sickness pallor, so being around a fully healthy Noah was a bit unsettling as I realized how truly striking his dark, ruddy looks were, how deep and mellow his voice was naturally, and how well dressed and nice smelling he usually was. At first I had trouble talking to him in that context, yet before I knew it, the awkwardness was gone, leaving hardly a memory that it had ever been there.

We discovered we were in the same (huge) lecture every Tuesday and Friday, so we began sitting together there. We began studying together almost daily in the library, having quickly discovered we had extremely similar study habits. He was the reason I scraped a B on my Geometry final; I was the reason he managed a C+ on his European History paper. Still, even with all the talking I did, I managed to avoid telling him about my family, or my year’s project. I eventually realized I was talking to him more than any other person in my life, including my roommate, and that thought made me panicky and eager to abort this friendship mission. 

As finals wound down, I started trying to stay away from him, but that had become nearly impossible even on our huge campus. It was like we were tuned into each other. Without once communicating about it, we found ourselves at the same showing of the same movie. On a whim, I showed up at the party of a small, off-beat campus group that I sometimes hung with and there he was. On one of the last Thursdays of the semester, a day I knew he had a late class, I felt the urge to eat at a little diner I had never before tried, and found him there, his last class of the day having been cancelled. And much as I was loath to admit it, he was one of my favorite people I had ever talked to. He was funny and sharp and charming and honest. The way he said "Yes, ma'am" and "No, ma'am" all the time fully did me in. We could talk for hours and it would feel like minutes. He was the best study partner I could've ever asked for, and I had the best overall exam scores I'd ever had because of him. I loved every minute of it, and hated myself after. I had vowed off of relationships a long time ago. This should not be happening.


	4. December

Semester finally ended, and with it came a sick sense of relief. Noah and I said our holiday goodbyes after our last exam on Friday, and I was glad we were going our separate ways. We would be apart for nearly a month, and a new semester would bring a new schedule for us both. I could lie about my availability for lunch and study dates, and avoid him until he got the message. I needed to put some distance between us; that was how it should be.

Jessica had left as soon as the semester was over, so I had the apartment to myself for several weeks. I dreaded Christmas day arriving but savored the days leading up to it. I was out and about every day, building my ARKs. Meanwhile, much as I was determined to forget him, Noah was never far from my thoughts. While I was out buying presents for Abby and Ariel and the girls, several times I spotted gifts I knew he would love (though of course I didn’t buy them.) When I watched the skaters at Central Park, I had to choke back a giggle, remembering the stories he told of his disastrous ice skating attempts. I would be letting myself ooh and aah over Christmas lights, and would briefly wonder which one would catch his eye most. I was fed up with myself, and strove even harder to diminish him in my memory.

Christmas Eve was perfect. We spent the whole day at my sisters’ house, laughing and talking and playing games and eating and opening presents, finishing with midnight mass. It was everything Christmas should have been. As was our rule, we didn’t talk about the next day until we absolutely had to.

~~~~~~~~~~

Less than 24 hours later, the evening of December 25th found me huddled on the couch at my apartment, staring listlessly at the TV. My head was throbbing, ears ringing, and I was chilled to the bone. I wasn’t actually sick, or at most it was the mildest of colds, since I had been perfectly fine the day before. I was quite sure I was simply exhausted.

My phone was open on the table in front of me. Absently I noted the time, 7:52 p.m. I had no reason to expect any calls, since(nearly) everyone that I would normally talk to I had already seen today. Yet in spite of myself, there was one voice I deeply wanted to hear, and we hadn’t spoken in days. I blamed the urge to talk to him on my current weakened emotional state. But because I was so miserable right now was the very reason I shouldn’t call him. I would never consider ruining his holiday like that.

At the very moment I was telling myself that, my phone rang: Noah Coleman, calling from Carolina. I fumbled to pick it up.

“Merry Christmas, Lissa” he said, softly sing-songing. Lissa. He had adopted that name early in our friendship, and now he never called me anything else. It was a nickname only he used, and I had loved that. My stomach twisted.

“Hey, Merry Christmas, Noah,” I replied, praying I sounded something resembling happy.

“How are you doing? How was your holiday?” he asked. His voice was softer than usual, I assumed from a bad connection, which was a welcome relief on my aching head.

“I’m… it was fine. Just got back from seeing family. Yours?”

“Yeah, good. Well, I just wanted to call and see what you were up to. You popped into my head and I wanted to say hi. But… you sound really tired.”

“Speak for yourself.” Which was true, I was picking up on his grogginess from afar. “But yeah, I’m… I’m definitely tired. Headache-y too.” I hadn’t really intended to say that last part, but it slipped out anyway.

“Mm, I see…” he was quiet for a moment.

“I’ll be okay though,” I hastily jumped in. “Just a long day. Gonna head to bed pretty soon here, so I’d better get going, let you enjoy the rest of your Christmas. Have a good night, Noah. And thanks for calling. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay… um… yeah… see you.” 

I ended the call almost before he had finished speaking, flopping back down on the couch with a groan. Somehow talking to him had made me feel both better and worse. I sighed and wrapped my blanket more closely around myself with a shiver, closing my eyes. Today I would wallow. Tomorrow would be a new day.

I didn’t realize I had dozed off until I was awakened by someone pounding on my door. Every fiber in me ached to ignore it and pretend I wasn’t home, but my practical side knew that no one would be knocking tonight unless it was important. When they knocked again, I dragged myself to my feet and went to answer. We had no peep hole, so I opened the door just a crack, keeping the chain on. A tall, shivering figure in a surgical mask stood on the threshold. He was bundled from head to toe, flecked with the freshly fallen snow, and all I could see was his eyes, which were so familiar. Suddenly my brain clicked into gear, recognizing the jacket.

“Noah!” I gasped. “Why… how… what are you doing here?”

“Freezing on your doorstep. Are you gonna let me in or what?” came the muffled voice from behind the mask.

Wordlessly I fumbled to open the door all the way, and he quickly brushed past me, stifling a cough. He pulled off his mask and hat, revealing a red, dripping nose and flushed cheeks. He continued to cough as he shakily removed his coat and gloves and boots. My mind was still whirling; I couldn’t decide what to say to him first. Finally I just repeated my earlier question.

“Noah Matthew, what on earth are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with your family… and you’re sick as a dog… How did... I just…”

He gently put his finger to my lips. “Let’s go sit down before I collapse and I’ll explain everything,” he sniffled, his voice hoarse and strained. It registered that that was why he was so quiet on the phone. He shuffled to the couch, where he fell more than sat down. As he was wheezily catching his breath, I dragged myself to the kitchen and got him a glass of water, then sat in the chair nearby, though he’d left more than enough room beside him. He took a long drink with a grateful look.

“I didn’t make it home because I got sick,” he finally said, still breathless. “My flight was supposed to leave early Tuesday, but by Monday I was already under the weather, and I knew it would get worse before it got better, and I wasn’t about to be puking the whole flight or infect everyone on the way there, so I had my dad transfer my flight to next week.” He shrugged. “So at least I’ll be home for New Years, hopefully. Still sucked a lot though. Obviously the past 3 days have been awful. I could barely get out of bed, I slept 18+ hours a day. I puked a lot from no appetite and coughing so much. I missed my family.” He sighed deeply. Then his eyes met mine. “And I missed you. Every time I’ve been sick this year, you’ve been right there with me, by luck or fate. But I wasn’t about to call you with my gross sob story and ruin your Christmas, so I let it be and made do by myself. Thanks to you, I keep a lot more medical supplies around the house these days, so I survived. But when I woke up this afternoon and finally felt semi-conscious, you were the only person I wanted to talk to. I was just gonna give you a quick call to hear your voice and say merry Christmas. But I could tell you weren’t okay either, especially when you hung up so quick. So I put my ass on a bus, hence the mask, and came right over. And just by looking at you, I can tell you need taking care of tonight even more than I do, so it was totally worth it.” He touched my knee gently. “I’ve never seen you so pale.” The last part was murmured, almost an afterthought, and it made a lump form in my throat.

“… you’re such an idiot,” I finally managed. “You probably gave yourself pneumonia, getting on a bus sick as you are. You can hardly stand…” I shook my head, yet again at a loss for words.

He leaned forward, taking my hand in his. “I told you, it was worth it. As long as I can be here with you, I don’t care about anything else.” He withdrew his hand, leaning back into the couch wearily. “And don’t even think about trying to be nurse tonight. I’m here for you, not the other way around. Anything you need, just let me know. Right now, I’m gonna go make some tea for us. Stay right there.” He stood slowly, and shuffled to the kitchen, pottering around until he found things for tea and toast. Part of me knew I should go help him, but I was so tired and so done with life just now, that I was content to do what I was told. I leaned my head against the chair and closed my eyes to doze again.

His hand on my cheek awakened me, and I took the steaming mug he was holding with a small smile of thanks. His red-rimmed eyes sparkled a little as he smiled back. 

“God you’re a mess right now,” I sighed.

“The worst part is, I think I look better than I feel,” he chuckled weakly. He set his own mug down, and set up the TV with his Netflix account, something I’d never been able to justify buying. Once he had a movie queued up, he flopped back onto the couch with a sniffle, patting the seat beside him. “Come sit.”

“I’m okay over here for now,” I mumbled, gripping my tea. “Don’t feel like moving.”

“Whatever you say,” he said with an eye roll, stretching out luxuriously. 

He let it go for a while, so I sat huddled in the chair, sipping slowly. He had put honey in the tea; it was delicious. I pretended to focus on the TV, wound tight as a spring, tucked tightly into myself. Finally he sighed in exasperation.

“Alyssa Ann, get over here right now and come sit with me. I can see you shivering from a mile away. You’re practically shaking that chair, and you're clearly exhausted and need to lie down. You obviously cannot get warm, and I know I’m radiating heat right now. Help me help you.”

“But… I…”

He raised his head to look at me. “My germs never bothered you before, so I’m not really sure why you’re avoiding me, but I’m asking and expecting nothing from you. You don’t have to talk. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to be or do anything. But I do know that both of us always feel better when the other is nearby. Don’t try to deny it. So come here.” He scooted forward on the couch so there was a gap between him and the back, and pulled off his sweatshirt, revealing a tee underneath. “Slide right in behind me. I won’t talk to you, I won’t touch you. Just come lie down, you’ll feel better if you do.”

I fought myself hard. Part of me was scared and angry. This went against everything I had been building for myself for however many years. This was uncharted territory in my world. However, the other part of me knew that everything he was saying was 100% true. It was exactly what I needed… and I was so tired of fighting just now. Also, way, way deep down, another part of me was saying that this might be the only person in my life that I didn’t have to fight with or fight for. He was the only person with whom I might actually be safe.

With icy, leaden feet, I stood and shuffled over, not meeting his eyes. I carefully clambered over his legs and let myself sink in behind him. My feet ended up tucked behind his knees, my cheek rested on the arm of the couch behind his shoulder. I tucked the blanket snugly all around me, but even so, he was right; I instantly felt warmer from the heat radiating off of him, in this little pocket of coziness.

I don’t know how long we lay there, our breathing in sync, neither talking, him occasionally coughing. My eyes followed the images on the TV, but my mind wandered dully.

“How’s your headache?” he asked at one point, just as it gave a painful throb.

“Could be better,” I muttered. 

Wordlessly he handed me Tylenol and an unopened bottle of water that I didn’t even notice he had. I swallowed the pills and took a long drink, feeling the slightest bit better for it.

After a while I felt him start to shiver, though the heat he was putting out didn’t change, and he quickly pulled a huge blanket over us both. I bunched a little of it up against his shoulder to make a pillow for myself, and finally rested my head against him, more comfortable than I could ever remember being before. Once one movie would end, he would hit play on another, hardly needing to move. I relished lying perfectly still against him for those many hours, warm and cozy and safe.

~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t recall falling asleep, so waking up to the gray sunrise was quite a shock. I twitched reflexively, feeling something against me, and Noah muttered in his sleep, shifting a little, before resuming his slow snores. He had turned onto his back sometime in the night, so we were nearly cheek to cheek, legs tangled together.

I was a sweaty mess, stiff and groggy, and smelling like him. I carefully extricated myself from underneath him and padded to the bathroom, hopping in the shower immediately. One long, hot shower later, I felt considerably better. I dressed slowly, keeping my mind blank, before tip-toeing back to the living room.

Noah’s long frame took up every inch of the couch and then some, 3 or 4 blankets covering different parts of him. His deep, slow snores were soothing to me. I couldn’t keep a small smile off my face. He was adorable, even if he was a giant pain. No sane person would have gotten on a bus in the dark with the flu, yet here he was. My own personal miracle.

The thought of coffee made my mouth water, as usual. I quickly went about brewing a pot, and also prepared a bowl of cereal for some comfort food. I sat at the kitchen table, absently looking toward the living room as I ate. Sure enough, when the smell of coffee began filling the whole place, my guest began to stir. I heard a loud stretch and yawn, then his tousled curls appeared over the back of the couch.

“Morning, sunshine,” I called quietly. His eyes met mine, bright with fever. Had they been that way last night? I couldn’t remember. He smiled nonetheless.

“Hey there,” he croaked weakly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. A little achy. Otherwise fine. You?”

“Mmph,” he groaned pathetically. “I’ll let you know in a bit. Right now, all I want is some of that coffee.”

“That can be arranged.” I poured him a huge mugful, dumping in a bunch of cream and sugar the way he liked it while he shuffled over to join me at the table. He coughed the whole way as he walked, and rubbed his chest with a grimace as he sat down. But he tried to smile again as our eyes met.

“How’d you sleep?” he rasped.

“Really… really well. Thanks to you. I haven’t slept like that in a very long time.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” he grinned. “I slept like a rock too.”

“Doesn’t look like it did you any favors,” I said sympathetically. “Neither did running around outside with the flu, though.”

“Thanks,” he said with a forced chuckle. “But I would do it again tomorrow. Don’t you doubt that...” He trailed off weakly with a deep cough.

I brushed the tangled hair out of his eyes. When I felt his face, my forehead creased in concern. “Bud, you’re burning up.”

“Hey, I said no nursing,” he teased, yet leaning his head into my hand heavily.

“That was the rule for last night. New rules today,” I gently admonished. “You're the one that needs looking after now. Finish your coffee, then go take a shower. Or a bath if you want. Please and thank you.”

“Yes ma'am,” he agreed weakly. He downed the rest of the coffee in huge gulps, then shuffled off to the bathroom. Moments later I heard the shower kick on. He was in there for a long time, while I watched the news in the living room. As soon as I heard it shut off, I ran to knock.

“Toss me out your dirty clothes so I can put them in the wash.”

“But… I don’t have anything else to wear,” he mumbled.

“Open the door a sec.” He peeked out, and I handed him an armload of men’s clothes. “The hoodie and pants are yours. Remember, I was mending them for you. The tee shirt and socks are mine, I sleep in those sometimes, but I think they’ll fit. 

“Hey, thanks.” We shared another smile as he closed the door again, reemerging moments later, fully clothed, but shivering. 

I examined him critically. “Bed or couch?”

He swayed weakly on his feet. “Wherever you want me.”

“Bed,” I decided, taking his hand and leading him to my room and my queen-sized bed. He collapsed onto it with a groan, quickly burying himself under the covers as his chills intensified. 

I sat on the edge beside him, rubbing his back a little. “You said your makeup flight leaves in a few days? I dunno bud, you’re looking pretty rough to me.”

He cracked his eyes open blearily, and I saw a flash of anger, or fear. “I’ve already had this for almost a week, how much longer is it going to last?” he moaned.

I bit my lip. “Well, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you’re well enough to get on that flight then, okay?” 

He nodded limply, eyes closing again. 

It was a long day, and for Noah, a miserable one. His fever stayed steady and high at around 102.5, with or without medicine. His cough was constant, hardly letting him sleep. Vicks was the only thing that helped at all, and even that wasn’t much. Getting up to go to the bathroom wore him out. At least he wasn’t throwing up, but he had zero appetite. Lying in bed, shaking with chills was about all he could manage most of the time, though I could hardly touch his skin because he was so feverish. Finally I stole Jess’s heated blanket from her room, and only when he was wrapped in that did the shaking ease, and finally he slept.

I took advantage of the opportunity and made myself some dinner, did the dishes, and generally tidied up a bit, then set up my laptop up on the desk in my room and curled up in my reading chair, catching up on my shows while I ate.

“Lissa?” a gravelly voice said a few hours later, making me jump. 

Only his eyes, hazy with tiredness and fever, were visible, peeking out of his blanket cocoon.

“Hey there,” I said, pausing my show and clambering up beside him, feeling his forehead and cheeks as he yawned, which were warm as ever. "How are you feeling?"

" 'bout as good as I look probably. I ache all over. Never felt so cruddy."

“What can I get you?”

“Water,” a hacking cough, then “maybe a little toast.”

I had his requests in hand in short order. I also brought back a damp washcloth. As he sat up to drink, I saw the dark ring of sweat around his collar, and how matted and damp his hair was. His hands trembled as he slowly sipped; meanwhile I bathed his face and neck, making goosebumps erupt on his arms. And still the scary heat rolled off of him.

“How long have you been sweating like this?’" I murmured.

He shrugged. “Don’t really know,” he said, slowly chewing a bite of toast.

“Dude, you are drenched. You can’t even tell you showered this morning,” I shook my head.

“One of my many talents,” he said wearily.

“Mm. Well, arms up.”

He obediently did as he was told, and I pulled the damp tee shirt over his head, replacing it with his that I had just washed and dried, though the coughing fit he had in the midst of this made things more difficult. Finally he fell back, exhausted, heaping blankets over himself once more. I couldn’t help but stroke his hair sympathetically as he got comfortable

“Poor guy. You’re so sick, bud. I wish I knew how to help more.”

“Would you come lie with me? I can’t sleep anymore unless you’re next to me, Lissa,” he pleaded

I groaned good-naturedly. “ 'Cause lying next to a hacking plague victim is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my night,” I teased. Even still, remembering how deeply and well I had slept the night before, I jumped up next to him as he made room, burrowing under the covers until I was spooning him from behind again. He pushed back against me until there wasn’t an inch of space between us, just like the night before.

“Mm, much better,” he whispered.

We spent the rest of the night just like that. I could see his strength flagging as he continued to cough and cough. The weaker he got, the more tightly I held him. If he needed me, I was going to be here. I would protect him at all costs, now that he had risked so much for me.

~~~~~~~~~~

His breath tickling my ear woke me the next morning. We had somehow traded places in the night, so now he was sprawled over top of me, one arm flug across my chest, his nose snuffling into my neck. I giggled softly… until I saw the rust-colored flecks on the shoulder of my shirt and bedspread. I gently put my fingers to his wrist: His pulse was much too quick, and his breathing was fast and shallow. I knew those signs, and I didn’t like it one bit.

“Noah,” I whispered, shaking his arm. 

He moaned and stirred, but snored on. 

“Noah!” I bumped my shoulder into his chest. He stirred again, and I pulled away to shake his shoulder. “Noah, wake up. Now.”

“Mmwha…” he slurred, barely conscious.

“Noah, how long have you been coughing up blood?” I tried to keep the rising panic out of my voice, but at least that finally caught his attention. His eyes flickered open.

“Wha… I…” He glanced at the reddish flecks on his tee shirt, stifling coughs still. “I didn’t know I was,” he croaked, looking helpless.

“We’re going to the hospital. Now. Up, let’s go.” I slid off the bed, half-pulling him behind me so he was at least sitting up. He was rubbing his face wearily, looking around as if he were trying to remember where he was, still half-coughing and clearing his throat the whole time. Meanwhile I was running around like a mad woman, pulling clothes on and getting things together to go out.

“We’ll go to your place first,” I found myself muttering. “Grab you a change of clothes, whatever you need. Insurance info. Then go to the hospital. Ugh I hope they’re not swamped, we’ll probably be there all day__”

“I don’t think I need to go to the hospital, there’s an urgent care not too far away from my place,” he managed to interject as he slid his legs over the side of the bed, already shivering violently. I barely heard him, wrapped in my own verbal planning and growing anxiety:

“We’ll have to take you on the bus again, ugh, I hate the thought of you being around all those people. You’ll have to wear that mask again. God forbid you catch something worse on the way there--” I had been speeding through my room putting things in my purse when he firmly grabbed my arm, forcing me to look him in the eye.”

“Lissa, I’m gonna be okay. I’m not dying. But I can’t do this without you. I need your help, and I need you to stay calm. For both of us.” 

His deep hazel eyes were imploring, and even dimmed by fever and fatigue, there was a familiar sparkle deep in them that made me feel instantly calmer. I swallowed, nodding slowly. “Okay. Yeah. I can do that.”

“Good,” he said weakly. “Now, what can I do to help?”

I noted him swaying slightly even just sitting up, and how he kept listing forward, as if compelled by gravity. I gently took both his hands in mine, pushing him back against the pillows.”

“I just have a few more things to grab, then we’ll be ready. You catch your breath here, and I’ll be right back.”

He nodded miserably, coughing as he tried to breathe slowly and deeply.

~~~~~~~~~~

When I would look back on this day later, I would only remember flashes: The way he clutched my hand for balance as he dressed; The scared look in his eyes above the surgical mask as we waited for the doctor; the grimace of pain that crossed his face when the doctor asked him to try and take a deep breath; his warm, heavy weight against me when he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion on the way home.

As I had predicted, he’d caught a raging case of pneumonia from his late-night bus ride. Miraculously, he didn’t need to be kept overnight. Because he presented with shortness of breath and elevated pulse initially, there was some talk of keeping him, but since he was low-risk for serious pneumonia complications, due to his age and health, they let us go with firm warnings for lots of rest and fluids. And even more miraculously, his strain of pneumonia was bacterial, so they were able to prescribe him antibiotics. We filled the script immediately after; he would be on the road to recovery by morning.

“I guess we should go back to your apartment now and get you right to bed, rather than drag you all over the city. I’ll bring the rest of your stuff over later,” I said as we boarded the bus after the pharmacy.

He was leaning heavily against the window, but turned to me, looking pitiful. “Actually, can I stay with you at your place instead? I’d rather sleep there. Your bed is nicer than mine and your apartment is warmer,” he croaked, barely able to speak from sore throat and exhaustion.

“Hmmm… only because you're so sick. I hope you realize I wouldn't give up my bed for anyone else. But since you asked so nicely, I think we can do that."

A look of apology and gratitude was the only reply he could manage as he was suddenly overcome with a bout of nasty coughs.

We staggered as much as walked into my apartment a little while later. The walk up the stairs did my poor friend in; I half-carried him back to the bedroom, stripping off his outerwear as we went. He fell into bed with a grunt and a cough, burying his face in the pillows, gasping for breath. I got his boots off and covered him up warmly, then sat with him and rubbed his back as his breathing steadied. 

"Everything hurts," he moaned. "So achy. Hurts to breathe."

"Here, let me warm up your muscles." I gave him a deep back and shoulder massage as he lay limply, breathing shallowly except for groans of pain when I hit a tender spot. I covered him warmly once again when I was through.

“You’re a saint, Lissa, you know that?” he mumbled, his voice muffled in pillows and blankets. He weakly turned his head to look at me.

I brushed the hair out of his heavy-lidded eyes, and let my hand linger on his hot cheek for a moment. “Tell me something I don’t know,” I laughed softly. “You owe me big time, Coleman. And if you get me sick, I'll kill you."

“Oh trust me, I know.” His voice was growing fainter by the second as sleep overtook him. I stood to leave.

“Where are you going?” he whispered

“Gonna go clean up. Find some food. Clear my mind.”

“You’ll be back, right?”

I found his hand under the quilt and gave it a squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll be right outside this door if you need anything. And I’ll be back in here keeping you warm in no time.”

“I can’t even remember what it feels like to be warm,” he murmured, more to himself than anything. 

I pressed my lips to his hand. “Get some rest,” I whispered. “I’ll be back soon.” He was already asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Noah slept at least 20 of the next 24 hours. I woke him periodically to take his medicine, drink water, and eat a little, but all of this had to be coaxed. His body had gone into recovery mode, and he could hardly keep his eyes open for any length of time. His chief complaints were that he was achy, cold, light- headed, and couldn't catch his breath. When he was awake, he was cuddly and silly and just wanted physical contact. This was all very new to me still, but it came so naturally with Noah.

The evening of the day after we went to the doctor, he finally woke up for real. He checked his phone for the first time in days, and found an abundance of messages and calls from his parents. He called them back right away, explaining. His parents were extremely worried and sad they weren’t with him, and he had to reassure them for a long time. They all agreed it was not a good idea for him to try and fly in a few days, so his flight to Carolina was cancelled. He was quiet and sad after he hung up. I didn’t know what to say, so I sat and held his hand. After a bit he shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Guess you’re stuck with me for New Year’s after all.”

“Somehow, I think I’ll survive.” We shared a little smile. He traced my jawline with a finger; I still had to fight the urge to pull away when he startled me like that. He paused, noticing, and let his hand drop, flopping back against the pillows. I cleared my throat, embarrassed now.

“Uh, did you need anything? Water or a snack? Want me to put on something to watch?”

“Nah. My eyes hurt too much for TV. I just want you to stay. Talk to me.”

“Talk about what?”

“Anything. You.”

“...Me?”

“We’ve talked about everything else. But… you don’t have to. It was just a thought.”

“It’s just… I don’t have anything to say about myself. It’s not something I talk about.”

He suppressed a weak cough. “Try. Tell me about your family. You’ve hardly told me anything about them.” He patted my spot beside him on the bed encouragingly. 

Hesitantly I slid over, heart racing. Childlike, he shifted closer to me, putting his head in my lap and closed his eyes, snuggling deeper into the blankets. He said nothing further, didn’t push, but patiently waited. I absentmindedly began stroking his hair as I thought about what to say. I almost didn’t notice as he sighed contentedly.

“Well, you know I have two sisters. The oldest is Abby, the middle is Ariel, and I’m the youngest. When I was about 2, my dad died. He was driving drunk and smashed into an overpass. I don’t really remember him. Abby and Ari say he was kind, but absent. Always smelled like booze--that much I remember. Wasn’t around for important things dads should be at, and when he was around he was drinking. But he never hurt any of us. Just himself. 

“Mom remarried to Doug when I was 5. At first things were okay. I was little, I didn’t really know much of what went on. But I knew Abby and Ari hated Doug. They were a lot older… Abby was 12 then, and Ari was 10. Mom always said I was the plain brain of the three. They were a lot prettier and more mature than me. I worshipped them. And I remember being sad because Doug always ignored me. Pretended I wasn’t in the room usually, and paid all this attention to Abby and Ari. 

“As soon as they could, the girls started being away from home a lot. They hung out with friends and boys from school. They were always at the mall or friends’ houses. When Abby was 16 she got pregnant. She told me and Ari first, and we told mom together. We stood on either side of her and held her hands. Mom was furious. She called her a whore and a slut and a bunch of awful things. I just remember Abby crying in our room after, and Ari cried with her… they couldn’t even look at me, and I didn’t understand why yet.

“Mom told Doug, and they paid for her to have an abortion before she started to show. She didn’t even miss any school. But of course mom told the whole family, her side, Doug’s side, and my real dad’s side. Told them all Abby was a… you know what. Abby got really depressed after that, and Ari was gone more than ever, so I kinda became the big sister from then on. I took care of Abby, and Ari when I could, ‘cause mom and Doug couldn’t really be bothered with us. Doug still always watched Abby and Ari with this weird look on his face though.

“A year later, Ari got pregnant. Ari had never brought any boys home, or ever mentioned a boyfriend, but she still got pregnant. And the same exact thing happened all over again. The day of Ari’s appointment at the clinic, when we were driving home, the girls confronted mom, and told her that Doug was the one that had gotten them both pregnant. They were crying and begging her to help, but she wouldn’t even listen. She screamed at them and called them liars and every other nasty thing. 

“The girls and mom pretty much stopped talking that day. They still lived at home and finished high school, and I think they stayed for me as well, to make sure I was okay. Because I don’t think Doug touched them any more after that. They slept in the same bed every night for protection, and I think they threatened to call the police if he came anywhere near them.

“As soon as Ari graduated and got a job lined up, they moved out and took me with them. Doug never did hurt me, but they didn’t want to risk it. We used student loan money and worked a bunch of jobs and did whatever it took to survive, and never looked back. Mom and Doug moved away right after. We haven’t heard from them in years.

“Abby and Ari had a rough time for a while. They got into prescription drugs, alcohol, you name it. I was mainly their nurse and mom for a few years. They both had a bunch of boyfriends too. Always a different guy. They each got pregnant twice with two different guys. All 4 babies are girls, my beautiful nieces, Ashlyn, Aliza, Amber, and Alba. They’re 6, 4, 3, and 2. They’re the love of my life. But the guys my sisters met were never good guys. My sisters just… always wanted to make something work that was never going to happen. After Ari’s guy gave her a black eye, and Abby’s guy gave her an STD in the same week a few years ago, we… they haven’t had any more boyfriends. We’re on our own now, and we do okay. Better than ever, honestly...”

I stopped, wondering if I wanted to go on. Noah hadn’t made a sound the entire time, and part of me hoped he’d fallen asleep. When I took a breath, he shifted slightly, and I could sense he was still intently listening.

“Huh. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this,” I muttered after a moment. He stirred again, and his hand found mine in the dark. He didn’t have to say anything-- he just knew. And now that I had started, I wanted to finish. So I took a deep breath.

“We were never going to make it financially on our own though. Much as we believed we could, it was impossible. But it turns out, my real dad’s family has some money. When Abby turned 18, they started sending her checks every month from the estate my dad had. They got bigger when Ari turned 18, and then me. Grandmother sends them. She has total control of the estate. My mom got basically nothing when he died. I guess my biological grandfather on that side had it in his head that his grandkids would need the money more than his kids, so he wanted to provide for them. He died way before we were born, but I wish I could thank him sometimes. He’s the only reason I’m here right now.

“But anyway, we get the check every month, but there’s a big string attached… Every Christmas and 4th of July, all 7 of us have to go to Grandmother’s house for dinner and to see the family. It…” I swallowed roughly, “It sounds like not a big deal but… grandmother’s reason, which she says in her two letters every year, is to ‘make sure we’re not using her money to whore around.’ She makes it clear every year, if we don’t show up and show her the respect she thinks she deserves, the checks stop. Every year one of my nieces was born, she didn’t send money for a few months after she found out. You know, because of the whoring around. I don’t know why she stops for a while, then starts back up again. I like to think grandfather’s ghost haunts her, but I dunno. Either way, that’s the one good thing.

“So twice a year we have to go over to her smelly old house, and let all the family gawk at us and whisper about us. The littles are sent down to the basement to “play with their cousins,” and aren’t allowed up except to eat for the rest of the day. Playing with the cousins just means watching crappy movies on a crappy TV, but at least they’re safe down there. Abby and Ari and I are stuck upstairs, and grandmother pretty much just stares at us the whole time. We have to eat huge meals, and play cards with the uncles, and sing songs around the piano like we did when we were kids, and pretend we’re having a great time. If we do one of those things the wrong way, we get punished. Grandmother will slap us in the face, or grab and shake us, or scream in our faces. The aunts and uncles don’t do a thing. But grandma loves to scream about how we’re all sluts and Jezebels. Afer my sisters had their abortions, grandmother never saw us as anything else, though of course she never knew the truth.”

I was parched now from all the talking, and took a long drink from my water. I was mildly surprised to realize I wasn’t crying or shaking at all. As I was telling the story, it was like I’d been talking about someone else, reciting a story from a book. And yet… there was a strange, empty feeling in my chest, like a balloon that had been taking up too much space had been deflated. I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or scared about this new freedom.

“So I guess, needless to say, I’ve never been able to relate to people who say Christmas is the highlight of their year, and I approve of your choice of Thanksgiving as your favorite holiday.” I attempted to put a smile in my voice, hoping to end my pathetic story on a joke, which probably came off as just sad.

Noah was still and quiet for a long time after I finished, and if not for the alertness in his frame, I would’ve checked to see if he had actually fallen asleep this time. I realized I had stopped rubbing his back and resumed the caressing, heart pounding. Had I scared him away?

He rolled over so he was flat on his back, and even in the very dim light, I could see his face again, but his expression was impassive. He grasped my hand, and gripped it tightly, looking into my eyes. I felt his other hand come up and graze my jawline once again as I closed my eyes. Then he let it fall. I exhaled slowly, my mouth suddenly dry.

“Tell me about your nieces. Ashlyn is the oldest, right? What is she like?” A grin split my face, quickly mirroring his own. He wasn’t about to linger or dwell in the very worst part of my life, and for that I would be eternally grateful. I happily launched into tales of the escapades of my favorite tiny humans. I talked until I was hoarse, and then he pulled me down to lie beside him, wrapping his arms tightly around me as we fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The days that followed could only be described as peaceful. We both slept a lot, and lazed around the rest of the time. Sleeping in the same bed as him gave me the best sleep I'd ever had. He never left the house; I only did for necessities. Noah gained his health and color and appetite gradually. His cough lessened, along with his fever and chills. The fatigue and aches lingered the longest, which I didn’t mind. If he was sleeping, that meant he was safe and healing, and not out getting sick again. It also meant he was still here in my apartment, and as the days passed, I realized how sad I already was for the day when he would finally have to go. 

After a few days, we could’ve moved him back. He didn’t really need help once he could walk without getting winded and stay awake for more than an hour at a time. But every time I half-heartedly mentioned it, he had some excuse as to why he needed to stay. So instead I ran back and forth to his apartment for things he needed, secretly happy for every errand, because it meant another day together.

A few nights later, I was trying to convince him it was time for bed. Mainly I was just cold, since I had run to the store for groceries in the sleet and wind, and just wanted to curl up under the covers, but he was having none of it.

“I’m so tired of sleeping. I’m tired of being tired. Talk to me, please? Did you see anything interesting in the park?”

“How did you know I went to the park?”

“Because you always go to the park when you go shopping. Why else would you go to the grocery store way over there?”

“Wow. I’m impressed. Okay, you caught me. I’ll talk as long as I can get ready for bed while I do.”

“Deal.”

“Okay, well, I almost didn’t go into the park today because it’s so gross outside,” I said, yelling from the bathroom as I washed my face and changed my clothes, “ but as I was walking past the entrance, I heard someone singing, and they had a really nice voice, a man. So I had to investigate. Just a little way in, there’s this homeless guy sitting on a bench, puffing away at a cigarette. He winked at me when he saw me, but kept right on singing. Some kind of aria, something classical.”

“He was singing, in the freezing cold, while also smoking? Hat’s off to him. If I tried that, I wouldn’t be breathing, even without pneumonia.”

“Well, he was probably a native New Yorker. His lungs are way stronger than your weak-ass country lungs,” I said, pulling my desk chair up beside him

He playfully flipped me the bird. “Anyway, go on. What did you do?”

“I ran back in the store really quick and bought a pack of cigarettes. Then I ran back out, and he was still belting it out, a country song this time. I told him I’d trade him the cigarettes if he sang me his favorite song.” I smiled to myself, remembering how he’d grinned at my offer. “So he winked at me again and started singing a hymn. I think it was called ‘Great is Thy Faithfulness.’ It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. It literally had me tearing up, but I didn’t want to record him and make him nervous. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole way home."

“Mm,” he hummed lightly, smiling. “Wish I could’ve been there with you.”

“Me too."

“You got me thinking though… I think I asked you this before , but I was extremely feverish at the time, so I don’t really remember the answer, only that it just made me have more questions than anything. So I have to ask again… Why do you do so many nice things for strangers?”

“Hm… well, you know the rest of my story. I guess if anyone would understand it would be you.” I took a deep breath. “Well last Christmas, you know a year ago, we had our visit to grandmother, and it just seemed… worse than usual. I dunno if it was just me or what, but I was more miserable than I’d ever been before. I was laying around feeling sorry for myself, and decided to go get a movie from Redbox. The case popped out… and there was a $10 bill inside and a little note that said ‘Snacks on me, have a great night,’ with a smiley face. It literally made me tear up, like it totally restored my faith in humanity. Pretty soon I noticed that I felt a lot better, just from that small kind thing. And it got me thinking… all humans know what it’s like to have crappy things happen to them. But one of the best ways to fight all the negative in the world is to bring more positive into it. I figured trying to be a good person was the perfect way for me and myself to push back against the negative people in my life. And I wanted to see how my mindset would change by intentionally doing positive things all the time.

“So I decided to do a year long challenge, where I would do an Act of Random Kindness every single day for a year starting January 1st. The only rule was, it had to be a different act and a different person every day. I’ve only missed a few days, and I doubled up the next day every time, so I’m on track for 365 ARKs this year.”

He stared at me open-mouthed for a moment. I couldn’t meet his eyes, my face red.

“That’s… incredible. Like seriously, that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard."

“Oh please, don’t even. I was… it was just as much for me as any other reason. That’s why I don’t like telling people, because they make it into a big deal. I’m just… it was just a thing I was trying. Really not a big deal.”

“Tell yourself that all you want, but I think it’s beyond amazing. But this year is almost over… Are you gonna do it again next year?”

“I dunno. I hadn’t thought about it. Don’t really think so. It was pretty stressful coming up with new things to do all the time, and preparing for them. It was fun, but I think two years in a row might get old.

“Fair enough. So I was one of your ARKs?”

“Yes, the very first time I randomly showed up at your door, when you had no idea who I was.”

“Yeah, when I had the chest infection”

“Right, that’s what it was. Dean told Jess you were sick, and they were both all freaked out about catching your germs. And I heard them saying before that you were from out of state, so I knew you would be all alone and sick and miserable. You were a perfect ARK target,” I grinned.

“And to think I almost didn't answer the door," he chuckled, shaking his head. "But I'm my defense, you were a total stranger. Usually strangers at your door is not a good thing. What would you have done if I hadn't?"

"Probably used Jess's key to get in. Or made Jess make Dean introduce us. If you hadn't noticed, I can be very persistent.You were getting my help whether you wanted it or not." We laughed together.

" Then the second time… you had brought something for Dean, right?”

“Oh yeah! His lucky hat or whatever. That was the first and last time I ever had a reason to do something nice for Dean. So I definitely counted that.”

“Wow. Without your ARKs, I would have had a very different semester.”

“Not that different. You would have been sick alone in bed more often is all. But you probably would’ve found a girlfriend sooner or later to take care of you anyway.”

He gave me an odd look. I could feel my face flushing, so I looked away. Finally he sighed.

“You look cold,” he said. “Come lie down.”

I was indeed cold, huddled on my desk chair, arms wrapped around my legs. I hadn’t wanted to sit on the bed with him as I was talking. My ARKs were too intimate for that.

“Right.” I shuffled over and crawled under the covers. While things were getting more awkward since he was better, at least in my mind, I definitely didn’t mind the pre-warmed bed every night.

I lay on my side, my back to him. He sighed and shifted around.

“So...uhh… tomorrow is New Year’s Eve. Did you have any plans?” he finally blurted out.

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Not really. New Year’s was always really chill for us. Usually I would go over to my sisters’, but as it turns out, they’re taking the littles to another party their friends are throwing for the night, so I’ll just be hanging out here. I was thinking of having a Christmas movie marathon and lots of junk food.”

“That sounds… really good.” He cleared his throat. “Um… I was planning on moving back over to my place day after tomorrow, you know, the first. But could I maybe hang out here with you tomorrow?”

I smiled into my pillow. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~

We had yet another perfect lazy day, and did exactly what I planned. I made a junk food run first thing in the morning, getting all of our favorite snacks, then ran to the video store right after and got a haul of movies. Noah had one cued up for us in the living room when I got home, and he was bundled in blankets and sweaters, with hot cocoa prepared for both of us, ready to go as soon as I was settled. We hardly moved from our spots, side by side on the couch, for the rest of the day. It was heaven.

If we got sick of movies, we would put Christmas music on the stereo and play games instead. Mostly cards, since I didn’t have a lot of board games, but it didn’t matter. We had a blast regardless of what we were playing. As soon as we started to crash, we made our way back to the couch for more movies. We both napped on an off, despite Noah’s assertions that he would never want to sleep again after this week.

11:30 pm found us sitting on a blanket on the floor, playing War and watching It’s A Wonderful Life. As Mary and George were enjoying their rainy wedding night, Noah suddenly put his cards down and looked at me, clearly having something important to say. I felt my stomach tighten, but met his gaze.

“Lissa… "

"Please don't, Noah. I know what you're going to say… and I'm begging you not to."

He blanched, and I saw a flash of anger, quickly replaced by confusion "Why? Why shouldn't I? After all the signs you've given me this week, and even before? I thought we were on the same page..."

"I can't. I'm sorry for any signals I've given you. But I can't. We can't. We… My sisters would never forgive me. I'm… I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Or ever. I can't do this. Not with you, not with anybody."

His expression was unreadable. "Oh. I see." He silently began picking up the playing cards, avoiding looking at me. Once the cards were packed up, he quietly slid himself back onto the couch behind us, stretching out to fill the whole thing.

My face burned and tears threatened to fall. I quickly clambered into my chair, wrapping my arms around myself tightly and we both watched (or pretended to watch) the movie in silence. 

When our phones showed midnight, Noah slowly sat up to look at me. "Happy New Year, Alyssa," he whispered, his expression neutral.

"Happy New Year, Noah," I managed, tears trembling on my lids. He slowly turned back around and didn't say another word. I let the tears silently roll down my cheeks.

When the movie ended, Noah didn't move. I got up silently, and saw he was asleep. I tiptoed to my bedroom, closing the door behind me.

~~~~~~~~~~

I must've slept long and hard. The apartment was deathly silent when I opened my eyes the next morning. No coffee brewing, no one else's soft snores to greet me. Slowly waking up, I began to notice things missing here and there. Noah's phone charger. His bag. His laundry hamper. The random clothes of his that had been scattered around. My breath caught in my throat. I ran to the living room, which was silent and empty. Everything of Noah's was gone, including Noah. He hadn't even said goodbye.

I shuffled back to my room and was ready to fall back into bed when I saw one thing he hadn't taken… the blanket that I had wrapped around me as I slept was the electric one I had bought him so long ago.

I let myself collapse onto the bed, sobbing as my heart shattered.


	5. January

I did not let myself think about Noah the rest of break. I didn't text him, and thankfully he never texted me. I violently shoved his image out of my mind if he ever tried to sneak in. I tried to be madly invested in the new semester. I went and saw my family more often than usual. I tried to hang out with Jess when she returned but she only cared about Dean, and that was dangerous territory. I did every possible thing to distract myself until school started, including ARKs. I wasn't challenging myself to do them every day anymore, but if one occurred to me, I gladly did it. Why break a good habit?

I was so glad when the semester started. I figured the hardest part was over. I was so happy that first Monday that I decided to treat myself and get Starbucks before class, a splurge for me. I was lost in my own thoughts as I joined the queue and didn't look around much, until I felt someone staring at me. I didn't look up, but I discerned a familiar, tall, curly-haired figure under my lids, three or four people ahead of me. My stomach dropped to my shoes. Coffee was not worth that heartache. I dashed out, almost jogging down the sidewalk, half expecting Noah to run out after me. For some reason, he didn't. I was both glad and somehow more heartbroken. I wanted to kick myself. Emotions were stupid and so was I. How long was I going to keep seeing him everywhere? In one of the largest cities in the world of all places?

~~~~~~~~~~

I yawned and stretched as I stood up from my desk, my last class of the week having just ended. I was very tired. I hadn't been sleeping well. I just couldn't get comfortable in my bed without… And it was too quiet in my room at night now, too. I had gotten spoiled when he was around. Sleeping with another human was so pleasant. I idly checked my phone as I walked to my train stop. A text from Jess: 'call ur sisters when you get the chance'

My heart leapt into my throat. I checked my apps again. No missed calls or messages from Abby or Ari. Why were they communicating through Jess?

"Y?" I texted back.

"Just do it," came the reply

I dialed quickly. Abby picked up on the 2nd ring. 

"Abby! What's up? Are you okay? Is--"

"I'm good, everyone's good. Slow down, kid. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight."

"Um… I guess? But why did you have Jess text me instead of doing it yourself?"

"Because I invited her and her boyfriend, too, and she wanted to text you. Got a problem with that?"

"No… I guess not… um… so when's dinner then?"

"Be here by 6."

"Ok. Do I need to bring anything or…?"

"Nope, just yourself. Nothing special."

"Ok… um… sounds good. Love you. See you tonight."

"Love you too. See you tonight, don't be late."

~~~~~~~~~~

I arrived promptly, as promised. I half thought Jess and I would travel together, though I was still very confused about the whole situation, but she and Dean were hanging out and they said they'd meet me there. 

For some reason, despite Abby's statement to the contrary, I had a hunch this was a special occasion. I had dressed up a little and was wearing a fuzzy sweater dress and warm tights with my cutest boots. I had even done my makeup. Noah had never seen me wear makeup…

I wanted to smack myself as soon as the thought crossed my mind. I shook my head harshly as I walked up to the shabby porch of the little house I loved. 

Ashlyn threw open the door before I could knock and gave me a big hug. I heard people talking all around me, but I didn't register what they were saying right away

"Surprise!" yelled Amber, barreling into me out of nowhere."

"Surprise?..." My eyes sought my sisters, and found them standing just inside the kitchen door, grinning from ear to ear. Jess and Dean were in the living room, also smiling. The littles were laughing and chattering around me. 

"What's the occasion?"

"The beginning," said Abby simply, her arm around Ariel

"Of what?"

"I thought it was the end," said Ariel loudly, her eyes twinkling.

"Seriously guys. What's the deal?"

"I'm glad you dressed up. We didn't tell you to because we didn't want you to get suspicious," giggled Ari.

"I knew you could clean up good if you wanted to!" interjected my roommate.

I was getting a little angry now. "Guys. What. The hell. Is happening. Why are you all being so weird? What's the surprise?"

"The beginning of a fresh start. The end of this season of our lives. Something we've wanted you to have for a long time." My big sisters stepped aside to reveal a tall, curly haired boy sitting at the table. He stood and gently pressed past my sisters, his eyes fixed on me, his long strides quickly closing the distance between us. 

I took a half-step back, my thoughts a whirl, but Noah tenderly caught my hands before I could do anything else and gazed at me with those green eyes. I opened my mouth, but he began to speak first.

"You said you weren't looking for a relationship. I wasn't either. My plan was to stay single through all of college. But one found us anyway. You literally showed up on my doorstep, hand delivered just for me. And then again. The more I saw you, the more I needed to see you. That week of New Year's should have been one of the worst weeks of my life, but it was actually one of the very best. I was half-dead but also more alive than I'd ever been. But you pushed me away, and I let myself be pushed. I ran away. I tried to forget you, but these weeks we've been apart have been terrible. I've been absolutely miserable. I can't get you out of my head. I never stopped wanting to come back to you the entire time, never stopped wishing you were next to me. But when you ran away from me in Starbucks, I couldn't take it another minute. I'm done trying to stay away from you. I got a hold of Jess through Dean, and she got me in touch with your sisters. You told me they would never forgive you if you were with me. So I figured I had to talk to them myself."

"Thanks for making us seem like awful, happiness stealers, Liss. The boy ban was always meant to be for us, not you," Ari said pointedly.

"That's not the way I remember it," I said faintly. 

"Noah came to us and pretty much begged us on hands and knees to let him date you. We were shocked, to be honest. We had no idea about you two," continued Abby. "But we did notice you'd been a lot happier after Thanksgiving. I'm glad we know why now."

"And we couldn't believe you turned him down! And you used us as an excuse!" You're such an idiot, Liss," Ari said, rolling her eyes. 

I chuckled weakly. I had experienced every possible emotion in the past 15 minutes, and my head was spinning. I was glad Noah was still holding my hands because I feared I would fall over. Noah's intense gaze hadn't wavered.

"I got your sisters' blessing and permission. If there's anything else I can do to prove to you that I'm worth it, to prove I'm here for you, I'll do it… you've given and given to me this whole semester, so I'd honestly love to return the favor. Anything you ask. But please give me a chance. Because I won't go another day without being able to call you mine."

I could feel myself trembling. All eyes in the house were on me. My mouth was dry, but I tried to swallow anyway. And yet, looking into his eyes, an overwhelming sense of peace settled over me. I had known the answer to the question he technically had yet to ask for a long time, ever since the morning he had a bad case of strep and still made me waffles.

Words refused to form in my mind. So I did what I'd had the overwhelming urge to do for weeks now, ever since he'd left without saying goodbye… I wrapped my arms around him, a perfect fit, and squeezed him as tightly as I could. He gasped a little from the unexpected force of my hug, but he wrapped his arms around me just as tightly, nuzzling his face into my hair.

Everyone clapped and whistled. Noah stepped back slightly, regarding me again.

"I had kinda hoped this would happen on New Year's Eve at midnight, but… this is almost better…" He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine, pulling me close against him.

When we broke apart, everyone clapped and cheered even louder. My face was beet red.

"I really did not expect my sisters would be in the room when I had my first kiss," I gasped breathlessly, grasping for something to say. "Or that my first date would be at their house." Meanwhile, I was unable to pull my eyes from Noah's perfect lips.

"Who knew that your weird kindness project would lead to something like this," Jess pointed out with uncharacteristic observance.

"Random acts of kindness can change the world," I murmured, mostly to myself. 

"They definitely changed my world," Noah murmured back, his thumb tracing my jawline.

"And that's all I could have ever asked for," I whispered, burying my face in his chest once more.


End file.
